I then tacked him up and got on him to ride, and it was pretty obvious that he was a little overstimulated.  I rode him briefly and decided that I’d better end on a positive note, so I then trailered him so that we could go home.  All in all, it was a good evening.  Tonight is my lesson, and I’m looking forward to that.

I took Big John to the round pen, warmed him up, got him saddled up, and rather than do my normal routine of spending 30 to 40 minutes in the round pen and saying “Ok, well thats enough for today,” I started in the arena… got on him, walked him, and then trotted him around, practicing my balance, getting him not to die in the corners, getting him to turn.  When it was all said and done, 40 minutes had gone by, and had my daughter not needed to get home for bed, I likely would have stayed another 30 minutes.  It was… dare I say… fun, exhilarating, rewarding, satisfying…. Yeah… really it was.  I have been trying for 2 years to actually be able to ride.  My horse has transformed from an underweight, ill mannered, scared animal to a very handsome, well mannered, but spooky yet proud Belgian.  Up until Sunday, my transformation hadn’t occurred yet.  I was safely ensconced in a cocoon of excuses as to why I needed to be cautious, why I needed to get my confidence up, why I couldn’t ride, and every once in a while my back would twinge, reminding me, yes, I’ve had my share of actual broken bones, rope burns, massive bruises from being stepped on, kicked or bumped into with prejudice.  In the final analysis, I was holding my horse back as well as myself… My horse, even though he’s a draft, loves to run.  No, I haven’t mastered the lope yet, but I am comfortable at the trot.  My fear and sometimes terror has been replaced with a sense of calm, a sense of focus, of being in tune with this magnificent animal that is my horse…. listening to him while getting him to consistently listen to me…. practicing neck reining, leg cues and actually driving him through the corners.

I’ve also managed to have a new feeling added to my repertoire associated with riding… aches and pain.  I’m serious… I feel like the human friggin’ wishbone… the insides of my thighs are ridiculously sore… I’m feeling my age, but I don’t care… I’m riding my horse again tonight!

Yesterday was a huge breakthrough.  I took my daughter, her horse and mine out to my farrier’s place to get shod.  My daughter and I were practicing barrel racing.  Well, my daughter was practicing… I was plodding along.  My farrier said to me “Dan, you’ve had your horse long enough, you should know how to ride.  You’ve got to get him to trot, keep him at the trot and control your horse, and you need to let go of the damn saddle horn when he trots.”  Easier said than done… So, I work with him, getting him to trot on cue, plow reining him so that he doesn’t ignore me and go straight to his pasture buddy, trying to get him not to die in the corners…. and then it happens.  I’m not sure how, or why, or even when, exactly, it happened, but I felt his rhythm as I rode him, found my balance, breathed, loosened up, relaxed and found my center.  And just like that, I was in charge.  I was driving him around the arena, not letting him die in the corners, turning him well in advance of where Megan his pasture buddy was, getting him to listen to me, and for once, for just this once, there was no fear… I was relaxed.  Up until yesterday, I simply have not been comfortable on my horse.  Terrified, yes, comfortable absolutely not…. until yesterday.  Yesterday, I finally felt comfortable on my horse, not gripping the saddle horn and hanging on at the trot, instead posting the trot, confidently driving him, using my legs to cue him to make tight turns, getting him to absolutely do as I asked.

My legs are sore this morning… but I’m absolutely looking forward to taking him out tonight and riding.

So… my fear reduction plan, is to simply do. He listens to my leg cues and transitions from walk to trot. He obviously can lope, so, in the immortal words of the green muppet from star wars, do, or do not, there is no try. I will simply do — walk, trot and cantor in the outside arena. I will do gymkhana events from my daughter at least once every other month, and I’m going to have fun. The horse show was exhilarating, terrifying, and fun, all in one. There is something to be said about having an actual one ton horse under saddle, and at 9 yrs old, seems to have forgotten that he’s a draft, and believes he’s a thoroughbred. When I’ve taken him on trail rides, he literally lopes up the hills, not trots, not walks, lopes. I need to let the big horse run, and experience first hand the freedom of letting go of my fear and experience the incredible sense of truly being in the moment.

Western under saddle… oh my gosh!! When one thinks of the things that could go wrong at a horse show, nearly taking out the judges and competition is probably NOT what comes to mind.  There were three horses total in the class… I was having a tough time getting Big John to calm down, so I didn’t actually get on him until about 10 seconds prior to going into the arena.  We were supposed to TROT into the arena.  Big John thunders into the arena at a full gallop, and I got him to stop about 5 feet away from the judge in the middle of the arena.  We back up, and line up with the other horses… we walk (yay… I can do this), we trot, and I’m holding him back to keep him from running over the other competitors.  And then the announcer says “lope your horses…” and I say to myself “I am SOOOO screwed!” Big John did not disappoint, thundering along the rail at a full gallop, nearly took out the judge, the helper, and the competition… at which point, I was excused (I think with prejudice).

The big guy was so freaked out after that when I took him back for the barrel racing, that I simply couldn’t get him to calm down, so I trailered him home and called it a day.  All in all, I was beyond happy!  Lots of new stimuli, including some 30 odd draft horses that he’d never been around before.  We actually got a 4th place finish, which considering that this was our first show, and didn’t know all of the ins and outs, I was elated.  It also tells me that I’ve done a pretty decent job, taking a horse that was basically a rescue, and getting him to where he is now.  And, I rode him… we made an entrance that few will forget, and while we failed, in a truly epic fashion, I was beyond happy with the big guy!  As we walked out of the ring, I kept rubbing his big head and telling him what a good boy he was!

Mary is back to riding Megan again, and we’re gonna be entering her started doing gymkhana, possibly as early as next week.  Fun, fun, fun!

I opted to “butch it up,” and went on the trail ride anyway.  It was a little painful, and leg control was lacking… however, we went and encountered lots of new stimulii, which he did really well with.  He did really well riding down the street (yes, we stopped traffic, as apparently my horse looks scary big from a car (LOL)!).  The only issue we had was the concrete sidewalk, which he shied away from for a bit.  All in all, a fantastic ride!

I got home, took off my boot and sock, and was in absolute shock at how purple my toe was!  Yes, it still hurts like crazy; I have a “hitch in my git-along,” but I’m super happy!  Life is good!