My horse scares me… He doesn’t mean to, but at 18.1 hh tall and a solid ton, having fallen from him and broken my back and clavicle, he absolutely does in fact scare me. No, it’s not the paralyzed with fear kind of scared, it’s the “Holy crap, I don’t know what I’m doing and that could result in me, him or someone else getting hurt.” It’s the “When you spook, you are so out of control, it’s all I can do to hang on” kind of scared. It’s the “When you trot, the ground shakes, and your lope sounds like thunder, and your ‘rocking horse’ movement at the lope is about two feet and I’m trying to just hang on, let alone control you,” kind of scared.
Yesterday was a huge breakthrough. I took my daughter, her horse and mine out to my farrier’s place to get shod. My daughter and I were practicing barrel racing. Well, my daughter was practicing… I was plodding along. My farrier said to me “Dan, you’ve had your horse long enough, you should know how to ride. You’ve got to get him to trot, keep him at the trot and control your horse, and you need to let go of the damn saddle horn when he trots.” Easier said than done… So, I work with him, getting him to trot on cue, plow reining him so that he doesn’t ignore me and go straight to his pasture buddy, trying to get him not to die in the corners…. and then it happens. I’m not sure how, or why, or even when, exactly, it happened, but I felt his rhythm as I rode him, found my balance, breathed, loosened up, relaxed and found my center. And just like that, I was in charge. I was driving him around the arena, not letting him die in the corners, turning him well in advance of where Megan his pasture buddy was, getting him to listen to me, and for once, for just this once, there was no fear… I was relaxed. Up until yesterday, I simply have not been comfortable on my horse. Terrified, yes, comfortable absolutely not…. until yesterday. Yesterday, I finally felt comfortable on my horse, not gripping the saddle horn and hanging on at the trot, instead posting the trot, confidently driving him, using my legs to cue him to make tight turns, getting him to absolutely do as I asked.
My legs are sore this morning… but I’m absolutely looking forward to taking him out tonight and riding.
Good for you! Thanks for posting about your fear, a lot of us have them but not everyone will voice it. I used to ride a Shire horse that sounds a lot like your horse. It took me a while to get used to the movement too because it’s so big!
By: eduequine on January 23, 2012
at 5:05 pm
Praise The Lord! Know Big John is more confident with your control too! So glad u continue to grow & enjoy.
-T
By: Tessa on January 23, 2012
at 7:08 pm